First of all, I don't fucking cara If someone read this or not, I just want to get this off my chest, okay?
Do you have have a little sister? That person who sometimes fucks your life and sometimes you hate and want to kill her nut if someone dare to hurt her you would punch the face of that bastard? yeah, that's a sisters love.
I have one. Well, I have more actually, but just one of them is the daughter of my mum and my dad. My dad fucked ohter womens too ya know.
I don't hate her, I never did, I'm just too fucking tired. 'Cause my mum loves her more than me. No, I'm not overacting, she tells me that once.
Because I fucked her life. My mum was 17, and my dad too. IS MY FUCKING FAULT THAT BROOKEN CONDOM?? I'm sorry mum, but if you don't love as my sister, you don't need to ignored me or remerber it to me. I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to this. I never did.
i don't know what did to you dad, and I don't want to know it either, but, if he hates me like you said, why is he more kind with me? why understand me, talks with me, and tries to make me happy. Why, if it's that true, he doesn't call me a ''man'' of ''weird'' when I bought a fucking shirt of Batman or another fucking superhero? Why?
Do you want me to be like my sister? A perfect girl, with long hair, tall, pretty and who gives a shit about EVERYONE but anyways everyones loves her?? Do you want me to be like that?? Do you mum??
You're making me feel like a shit, you know?? Why, if her screams at you, and makes you cry, you still loving her, but if I forget do my homework or clean my fucking room, I'm a lazy idiot, who need to lose wight, is lesbian and will die alone?? Thanks mum, that would cheer the fuck up everyone.
But I'm still loving you. Why? 'Cause you're my fucking mum. I can't change mum. I tried, but this is waht I am.
And I'm so fucking proud of me.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for begin like my dad, I'm sorry for begin different to you and my sister. I'm fucking sorry.
I'm sorry mum. I just... just want you love me like you love her. You say you lvoe me soemtimes, sure, you calm me when i cry and have a nightmare, when I'm sick, when I'm worried, like every mom in the world. But you don't do it with love, I see it, you feel forced to do it.
How do you think I feel, when I listen to you two, talkin about clothes, the much you love her, and you wouldn't change her for anything, fucking proud of her. And I'm there. I'm my bed, whit my music paused, feeling horrible and alone.
You say if Idon't change any boy will love me. When I say to you that I don't like anybody and I'm fine alone... you looked at me that time, and you said it. Are you lesbian honey?
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, YOU WERE RIGHT, YOU WERE FUCKING RIGHT. THE ONLY BOY THAT I LOVED, MY BEST FRIEND, REJECTED BE, FOR BEGIN ME. FOR BEGIN ME, AND IN MY FACE HE SAID HE PREFEER MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND.
THanks world. Thanks mum, thatks to fucking everyone. I feel I nedd be a motherfucker, maybe, in that way the people will start to love me! Who knows!!
Who the fuck knows.
Listening to: vocaloid
Watching: my fucking computer